so, i thought you should know...

-my darling little Camila is 6 weeks old this week.

and i just can't believe it. actually, i can believe it.. because i feel like i haven't slept in six weeks.

here's hoping 8 weeks brings us more sleep.

-she has an awful temper when she gets mad.

or when she gets angry

or when she is overly-tired.

- I just registered this little 4 year old cutie in kindergarten and while she's super excited to go to school

i was actually a little sad. 

she's been my side since i had her and now i feel as if she's leaving me. silly, i know.

- welcome to my laundry room.

this is where Camila sleeps during the day. i probably should be really embarrassed to post this picture but i'm not...because as crazy as it sounds, she loves this room! this room sits right next to the kitchen, where i spend most of my time during the day, so i can easily hear her if she stirs. 

i turn on the overheard fan (white noise) and slightly close the door and she's in baby bliss for a couple of hours. 

it's crazy.. my other children were able to sleep anywhere and with whatever background noise was going on at the time.

but not this little cutie. she's more high maintenance, which kinda makes me nervous.

which brings me to my next point.. the 'witching hour'. has anyone ever experienced
that part of the day when your baby just can not be comforted and is cranky and fussy?

well, we are in that phase right now. from 5pm till about 8:30pm Camila is just as cranky as can be.
 poor little girl just wants to go to sleep but there is so much going on around here that she just can't get to sleep. as much as i hold her or rock her some little noise or movement will disrupt her.

here's the thing (and i knew this was gonna be an issue) i can't lock myself in my room with her
and turn off all the lights and run the overhead fan (as much as i would like to). because there are three other little kids downstairs that need me around to help with homework, to be fed, etc.

so that's where i'm at right now. trying to figure out a way to give Camila what she needs (quiet sleep)
while at the same time meeting the needs of the other kids.. and all this needs to be done at the same time.

for now, my sweet mother is going to come over and help me from about 4:30 till bedtime at 7:30pm
during the days my husband is at work.

for now, i just need to breathe deep and remember that this too shall pass.

- her favorite place in the world -- besides the laundry room.

to be held.

by anyone. by someone. all day.

and usually there's always a willing person to be found that could be convinced to hold her.

my darling firstborn up there ^ ^
she is such a wonderful helper and i'm truly so blessed to be her mother.


-i'm slowly getting back into working out again.
my muscles are sore.
my lungs feel like they are gonna burst
but i'm going to keep at it because i know i'll feel better afterwards
even though i feel like just giving up every 10 seconds.

so, that's a little snippet of life over here right now.
it's horribly exciting over here :)

hope you have a wonderful week and please..

enjoy your sleep.
don't ever take it for granted.
:)

the current situation around here.

things are a little hectic around here this week and are bound to get even worse as the holiday approaches 

next week. 

i have a question for you.. who in the world decides to get their counter tops replaced a week before 

Thanksgiving and while 8 months pregnant? 

i'll save you from answering. that would be US of course.

scenes from our life this week.

and notice: counter tops - all gone.

not one piece of tile left on them and now i officially have 

plywood counter tops -- with a whole lotta dust on them -- until our new tops are installed next week.

i'm ok with that since the kids and i will be out of town .. husband is going to stay 

behind, not only because he has to work, but also to supervise the job.

my children.

someone gave this little girl an extra dose of bossiness in her breakfast today.

and this little boy was a little moody today..

and of course, this little one is on her best behavior when the oldest two are acting up...

but i'm not complaining because i know i was a little extra cranky today and not the best person to be around. something about not having counter tops and finding bits of cement in my food 

makes me a little frazzled.

{bless their little hearts, they are so cute.}

oh,

and while at the gym i noticed a girl running on the treadmill.

and i instantly felt like crying {definitely hormonal}.. because i miss running so much.

i'm not even very good at it but i enjoyed it so much when i was normal {not pregnant}.

instead me and my big self have to stay on the elliptical and chug along at a snails pace.

i can't go any faster than 133 hb/min.. and i can tell you right now..this girl  below {who had no idea i took a picture of her backside} was definitely NOT at 133 hb/min.

{all i can say is that lycra/spandex is awesome!}

soon enough i'll be able to get back into the swing of things.

for now, this little girl has got to stay in my tummy a little bit longer.

and preferably arrive here between Dec 27-30.

she may not, i repeat, MAY NOT arrive on Dec 25th or i will definitely be a crying mess.

******

hope you have a wonderful weekend

and raise your hand in the air if you are so glad tomorrow is friday! {woot! woot!}

today

today was a hard day for me.

it started with waking up late even though i promised myself i would wake up early.

{early as in 'before my kids wake up'}

and it didn't happen.

it's so hard for me to wake up earlier than my normal time. my body just refuses to 

cooperate - mostly my eyelids. 

it doesn't help much that i'm not sleeping well at night.

we have entered the leg cramp phase of pregnancy.. oh, the dreaded leg cramps!

i don't get them often but when i do, i'm sore for dayyyssss afterwards.

i had a prenatal appointment today at 10:45am.

i'm dressed and ready to go by 9:59am. then i thought i would glance at my calender to see

what else i had going on today.

and to my absolute shock, discovered that my appointment was at 9:45am. 

i had pretty much missed it.

cue the water works.

i bawled like a baby. 

it was not pretty ---> picture mascara running down, watery, puffy eyes, snot coming out of my nose that  was being wiped by the sleeve of my cardigan.

all because i missed an appointment. 

well, not just because of that.. but mostly because i just felt like i couldn't do 

anything right. 

i wasn't able to get up as early as i wanted in the morning,

i wasn't able to help my husband make the kids lunches in the morning (a job that i usually do),

and i couldn't even remember a simple appointment.

{puffy face mcpuffster}

and then the next thought... what in the world am i doing trying to raise 3 kids?? 

yep, it got pretty ugly in my head there for a bit. 

at some point, i blew the snot out of my nose, wiped off the mascara and

had to show myself some grace.

being a mom is hard. really, really hard.

not only do you deal with the day to day stuff having to do with house and school

but we also have to nurture and grow the little hearts of these little ones under our charge.

we don't have the luxury of quitting our job or just calling in sick.. although that would be nice every now and then {ahem.. like today}

we are bound to forget appointments, cancel out on play dates at a moments notice,

or make sandwiches for dinner instead of that awesome recipe that was planned.

this is our ministry, my friends.

the work that we do within our house and within the hearts of our children.

it's what God has called us to do right now.

and so, while we may have our 'off' days, we just pick ourselves up again

and try again the next day... because that's what moms do.

so tonight, i'm setting my alarm clock again

and going to do my best to wake up early in the morning.

and if it doesn't happen tomorrow,

well then, 

there's always the day after, right?

this time last year.

 do you ever look back 6 months or a year ago and think "wow, we've come a long way"?

well, as I sit here and look through these pictures from last summer, that's exactly what goes through my mind.

i look through these memories of last year and while i feel happy looking at them

 i remember that during this time i felt like i was just coming out of a fog.

it was as if a mist covered my eyes and it prevented me fully enjoying moments with family.

i was in the midst of a lot of conflict and confusion; things around me were changing and i finally just had to let go of a lot of things.

i let go and trusted God that all would come out as He would want them to be.

i prayed for my little family,

i prayed for the friendships around me,

and i prayed that  He would be able to give me peace and strength with whatever happened.

and friends, He never, ever fails us.

ever.

 {scenes from Summer of 2011}

 

and then...

i fell in love with photography and started taking a photography class.

i spent more time with my family and started capturing the small things

in our life.

i started blogging... and i never, ever thought i would enjoy it as much as i have.

i met a wonderful community of bloggers {all you fabulous peeps} that encouraged

me with your sweet comments.

the friends and family around me loved me a little extra harder because they knew i needed it.

and then I started a bible study that changed the course of my stagnant spiritual life {can we get an  amen to that?}

all this contributed to a magnificent re-awakening.

I see clearly now..

and the view without that mist over my eyes

is just beautiful.

i'm so grateful. grateful that a year later i'm in a much different place.

the people that surround me are such a blessing to me..

my relationships are filled with honesty, encouragement and simple joy.

but let me very clear, it's not to say that it's sunshine and unicorns over here.

i still get worried and overwhelmed and stressed out.. about a million times a day in fact.

but i have learned that if i fix my eyes on Him and stay the course {His course}

then i'll be able to weather the good and bad.

i've learned that going through a conflict pretty much stinks..

but He uses it to grow and stretch us in ways we never would have otherwise.

He uses it as a way for us to turn to Him and to trust Him even though we don't quite know how it's all going to end up.

that my emotions will not lead me to a solution - BUT FAITH WILL.

{it got a little personal up in this space, didn't it?? thank you for reading if you've gotten this far}

tomorrow is the beginning of a new phase for us.

all three of my kids start school this week and so i've been in a

reflective mood {as you can clearly tell}.

but if this was a little too heavy for you, then don't worry.

i'm going to lighten it up next time with some happy stuff..promise.

i have yet to tell you the gender this little baby in mah tummy is.

stay tuned.

have yourself a very happy monday!

{linking up with Laura at Bits of Splendor}

Sunday Thoughts - (day by day)

an excerpt from Jesus Calling Devotional,

February 4

"Bring me your weakness, and receive My peace.

Accept yourself and your circumstances just as they are,

remembering that I am sovereign over everything.

Do not wear yourself out with analyzing and planning.

Instead, let thankfulness and trust be your guides through this day, they will keep you close to Me.

As you live in the radiance of My Presence, My Peace shines upon you.  You will cease

to notice how weak or strong you feel, because you will be focusing on Me.

The best way to get through this day is step by step with Me.

Continue this intimate journey, trusting that the path you are following is

headed for heaven."

****

it feels as if life has been put on a temporary hold since my mom had her surgery.

(she is recovering wonderfully well, thank you friends for your well wishes and prayers!)

i am going to confess that it's been a struggle to adjust to this new schedule - which

now involves therapy and doctor appointments, extra errands and other things

that come along with the recovery process.

i've discovered a few things about myself:

1.  i am not a good nurse. at all.

i break out in sweat at the slightest hint of pain that she has,

i barely make it in time to the therapy appointments (but we do make it, so that's gotta count for something)

and her prescription has been sitting at the Walgreens pharmacy for about 4 days now because

i've forgotten to pick it up.

(luckily, she has plenty till i get it to her, but still...)

i'm actually a little worried my mom is going to fire me.

2. my planning capabilities, which barely existed before my mothers surgery,

are pretty much non-existent at this point.

(more thoughts on this on another post)

i know what i've got planned for today and possibly tomorrow.

but beyond that, don't ask.

because i don't know yet.

and you know what? i've decided it's ok for the time being.

i read this passage tonight in my devotional and it was such a great comfort to me.

i am taking it day by day, one day at a time knowing that my days

will be filled with what He feels is necessary for me that day.

He will open up time throughout my days to meet up with friends,

or to go to playgroup

or to go to bible study

or to plant some flowers in my backyard.

but first things first,

tomorrow i will stop by Walgreens for that prescription.

promise :)

linking up with Heather at Finding Beauty in the Ordinary.

check out her blog if you haven't already.

she is pretty darn awesome :)

sick.

this weekend was suppose to be the weekend.

i was suppose to get some serious painting done around here and i was actually looking forward to it.

to be able to finally finish up our hallway and kids bathroom - that was my goal since those 2 areas have

been sorely neglected for so long.

and then BAM! some sort of virus got to me yesterday... and now i've got what feels like a waterfall 

coming out of my nose,

a sore throat,

and a serious headache that's lasted all day.

so there goes all my painting plans.. but i can live with that.

what i can't live with is missing out on a movie date with my sister on sunday

(to see, yes you guessed it, the hunger games. have you seen it yet? please tell me it's as good as the books)

whatever this is has got to go away by then or i'm going to be a very grumpy mama.

(yeah, they look so cute but i just know one of 'em brought home this little bug)

on a good note, not much will be expected of me as far as cooking is concerned.

on a bad note, i'm just waiting to see which child catches this bug next

(quick! knock on wood, even if it's laminate.)

hope you have a wonderful weekend!

attitude problem.

i had planned on finishing up a post

that i had started a while ago {2 months ago to be exact..ha!}

but it just didn't work out tonight.

because THIS happened:

a bad attitude.

it involved a lot of crying, wailing and a door was slammed.

i had to muster every bit of patience that i had in me,

say a little silent prayer so that i could discipline with love and yet remain firm.

and then i had to follow through with my threats.

her beloved tea party cups and pots were taken away

and she had to swallow her 3 year old pride and apologize for what she did.

it's so hard for her.. and it's hard for me as well.

my other two were not as strong willed so i'm in unknown territory with her.

i'm glad to report that by the time she went down to sleep

most of everything was right in her world.

except that she'll have to use plastic cups for her pretend tea party tomorrow.

yes, life is really hard isn't it?

i think it's time for a cupcake :)

have a wonderful weekend, my friends!



cheese? yes, please.



my body is in shock right now.. if it had a voice it would probably

be cursing at me. instead i've just got a headache.

i decided to do a 6 day body detox {the healthy way} and I am

currently in day 2 of it.

lordy, it's hard..

I haven't had any sugar {except for natural sugars in fruits}, refined or processed foods in two days.

i've realized i really could live without many different foods..

chips/junk food - nope, no thank you.

meats - eww {I'm grossed out by any type of meat right now}

pasta - hmmm. it's hard but I really find I don't crave it.

sugar - nah. i can deal with not having it.

but what I miss the most is cheese.

i love me some good cheese.  i don't discriminate in any way..

I love them all.

and that's the hardest part for me right now...

so you better believe that as soon as I'm done with this I'm gonna eat some cheese.

sharp cheddar cheese.

yum.

{I would insert a picture from pinterest of a cheese tray here

but that would be more then I can take right now} 

for now, I've had to make lots of these smoothies..

it's so much easier to eat sprouts, kale and spinach

when they are blended up with yummy fruits.

believe it or not I feel really good!

i've got a small little headache but I know that it's from the lack of sugar.

it feels good to get everything out of my system..

I've had this constant bloated feeling ever since Thanksgiving {is that too much information? sorry}..

which is around the time when all the crazy holiday eating happens

and now that feeling is gone.

I'll slowly start incorporating other foods back into my diet..

and then pick up my workouts again.

my goal is not weight loss, instead it's just to get my body running smoothly again,

to cleanse it of some of the bad habits I've picked up

and to exert some massive will power and say "no" I will not eat this...

it's hard, isn't it?

to deny ourselves what we want..

whether it be food, material things, a relationship, etc.

self control.. it's what I believe our Father wants of us and what

we should be constantly practicing in our lives.

 "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,

gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law"

Galatians 5:22-23

thank you for reading my detox-turned-philosophical post,

i very much enjoyed talking about feeling bloated, smoothies and God all in one post :)

have a wonderful day, my friends!