settling in.

pictures are from the hospital stay.. had to post these up here before they 
were forever lost in digital heaven.

so, i'm still here.
just barely hanging in there with very little sleep.
it's been a while since i've had a newborn in our house (4 years to be exact).
well, it's funny really, the memory does something tricky when you get older.. it deletes any traumatic or troubling memories more than a year old.
well, at least my memory does because i do NOT remember the newborn phase being this difficult.
i'm sure it was, i just don't remember.

 i'm happy to report that Camila is doing wonderfully well.
she is gaining weight and adjusting well to this new world.
i'd like to think i have a big important role in that.. since she's rarely apart from me {for reals..she's either latched on or near me somewhere}.

the BIGGEST adjustment for me as been with my other three kids.
the mom guilt has settled in my heart.

trying to manage 3 kiddos before Camila was born was always a little tricky.

 they each  needed attention and i always made it a point to devote some individual time to the struggles that each child had at the time. 

for my oldest, it was figuring out how to deal with a clingy classmate.

for #2, it was spending extra time reading and working on his reading/language skills.

for #3 it was working on her social manners {she has none} and working with her so that she could understand the concept of obedience and respect.

and now i have to ask myself if i've asked them how school was that day.
yeah, that's bad.
 i recognize that its just temporary and soon enough {once we settle into a routine} things will get better around here.
but i still feed bad for them :(

so tonight, i count my blessings. even though i'm super tired and not at 100%
i'm grateful for :

-a healthy little girl who i just adore. at night, when i just feel like i just can't hang anymore
i look at her and remind myself that i  had wanted her for so long. and now i've got her. so all this... the no sleep, nursing, etc is ALL worth it.

-friends and family that have pretty much fed my family these last 3 weeks. seriously, i don't
think i've cooked one meal. i'm so incredibly blessed by those that surround me.

- my wonderful husband.  friends, i married an awesome guy.



-instagram.  it's what keeps me from nodding off in the middle of the night while nursing. you'll find me online at 11pm, 1am, 3am, 5:30am. #nursingtimes

*****

signing off for now as i hear Camila starting to wake up.
so pretty much my 5 minutes are up :)

she's finally here {Camila Grace}

She is here.

Camila Grace, born on 12/26/2012.

well, at least she held out till the day after Christmas :) 

she's 6 pounds and 15oz of pure sweetness and adorable-ness.

i'll do another post that include more pictures of her post-birth.

for now, i'm pretty much going to do a photo dump of all my pregnancy pictures.

i'm being selfish really.. because this blog serves as my memory bank.. and posting

here gives me an opportunity to organize my pictures and look back one more time

at this special time.

so, if you'll bear with me... 

a little stroll through the last 9 months...

including my 'fruit' picture project. sadly, i was only able to photograph up to 24 weeks (baby was size of an ear of corn)... i wish i had completed it all the way through but life got really busy. but i'm super grateful that i was able to document so much of this pregnancy. i'm grateful that my husband was willing to humor me and 

take my pictures as i requested it (as vain and silly as it sounded).

because, this is it folks. 

no more little ones for me (us).. i finally feel as if our little family is complete.

it's so hard to explain it but that's the truth. does that sound strange? 

and friends, know that i would have labeled these pictures for you if i had any more energy left in this little old 

body of mine. but, alas, i do not. 

i'm running on 3-4 hours of sleep every night and it's taken me about 3 days just to collect and organize these pictures up on here. this little girl is draining me dry.. she's so lucky she's so darn cute!! (wink) :)

{my picture collection from Instagram. some posted on IG, some not posted}

all of these pictures have a special memory attached.

this first picture (red lipstick).. I took right after my 12 week appointment. 

an appointment where i wasn't sure if we were going to hear a little heart beat or not.

i had mentally prepared myself for the worst.

and it is in my weakest and most vulnerable moments that God has chosen to reveal his infinite mercy and love in my life. this was on of those moments.

and 9 months later.. my little reward! :)

once again, thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers throughout this time.

i can't tell you what a blessing your words and comments of encouragement have been to me!

hugs to you all, 

p.s. and what's this about it being 2013 already??  

girls rule.

 

a small little announcement..

it kind of makes it real once it's out there for the entire world to see..



 

 

 

 

 another sweet little girl to add to our family!

we are working on names and probably won't figure it out till the last minute.

 

and can i tell you.. my two little girls were overjoyed at the news of a little girl..

but my little boy? {this little cutie below}

 

 

well, he was just devastated.

 

in his eyes, the world was over and all his dreams were shattered.

poor little boy.. he had visions of finally being able to share a room with a little brother and bunk beds where he would get the top bunk and his little brother would get the bottom bunk.

he even had a name picked out already (Justin. and don't ask me where in the world that came from.

i have NO idea.)

 

{devastated upon hearing the news}

 

i felt so bad for him, i may have promised him a bunk bed with a desk area under it

and i may have promised him that i would talk to my husband about maybe trying

for one more baby in hopes of it being a little boy {for him}.

 

but my husband was very quick to say it wasn't happening.

 

{20 minutes later. still devastated}

 

well, aside from one little boy who is slowly getting used to it,

we are looking forward to having one more girl in our little house.

 

girls rule.

always.

 

 

it's really for reals {an announcement}.

today is my "it's really happening"  moment.

i'm coming out of the mothers closet {so to say}
and throwing it out there for all to know.

{so sorry for the semi blurry pictures. it was just me, my camera, self-timer and 2 pee sticks just trying to

record a moment}

it's for reals folks and i can barely believe it myself.
if you thought i was crazy before.. well, i may have just placed myself in a whole new
crazy category in your mind.

this new baby will be our 4th.. and we are super excited about it  :)

first things first.. some love messages:

my dearest Thursday playgroup members - you are are just the sweetest. i'm sorry i missed so
many playgroup dates.. but when i said i wasn't feeling good, i really wasn't feeling good. and it wasn't
a simple cold i was trying to fight. all you girls are awesome, i don't know what i would do without you guys.
and you take care of my kids while i eat all your snacks.. you girls rock.

my poor neglected blog and blog friends - you've been sorely neglected. but you see, i can't come up on here and post about food or outfits or the kids without somehow feeling as if i'm not being truthful.

because all i really wanted to tell you was that i haven't cooked a homemade meal in over 5 weeks and that
i'm about ready to bust out of my summer shorts. then you would wonder what was going on and then it would be awkward.

my kids - i know you miss my awesome cooking skills since it's been about 5 weeks since i've been able to make anything.
but you  must admit, i make some awesome smoothies. and i'm pretty sure you've all got your vitamin c intake for the next 2 years taken care of.
bam.
see how that works out?

to the people i've run into around town and you can't figure out if i'm just gaining weight or what - surprise!
i haven't gorged on hostess chocolate cupcakes.
right now, i can't do that even if i tried.

my husband - don't worry. we will survive. somehow, in some way we will survive.
on the upside, you keep getting cuter and cuter with the more kids we have :)

*******

if you find yourself reading this, please send some good cyber wishes my way.
for some reason, i'm extra paranoid about this pregnancy and i keep freaking myself out
but i am comforted in knowing that He in in control and i've just gotta let him go about His business
of caring and creating this little one.

thank you so very much my friends :)

you know it's a good day when...

{the good day was Wednesday. not today, Thursday. definitely not today. just wanted to clarify}

♥ you feel the need to wear red lipstick.
and it was a red lipstick kind of day for sure.
one where you feel in perfect harmony with your Maker,
and you clearly see all the blessings he's bestowed upon you.
i don't get very many days like this, so when i do, i break out the $1.72 red lipstick.

♥ a complete stranger comments on how well behaved your kids are
{while sitting inside a very quiet waiting room}.
i felt as if i had won a trophy and i wanted to kiss her cheek
and say "thank you thank you thank you. you just totally made my day!"
thank you dear perfect stranger, for reminding me of the value of a sincere, kind comment.

♥ your little boy tells you that his day out with dad at a baseball game was "the best day ever".
{note to husband - your baseball game idea was genius, he loved it.
you are now, officially, the cool parent.
and cool parents do laundry and wash dishes and mop. so get to it, honey.}

♥ your morning quiet time rocks your world.
verses that bring peace and comfort to a heart that's
been anxious and worried and fearful.

♥  you get to a hug a friend. and you love her even more for being who she is.

♥  Hobby Lobby has the most perfect material and it was on sale.
this just about makes a red-lipstick-wearing-girl want to break out in dance right then and there.
Hobby Lobby, you rock.
and you play Jesus music in your stores. us Jesus loving people love that.
thank you very much.

hope you have a wonderful weekend!
and if you can, find a perfect stranger and say something nice.
especially if it's a mother with a boatload of kids :)

Sunday Thoughts - {He listens}



today, after months of a crazy schedule, we were gifted with a slow, lazy family day.

boy, was it was just perfect.

the weather was perfect, the kids were pretty mellow

we had no commitments.and today was my husbands first day of vacation.

pretty sweet.

we did make it to church today {just barely} .. and you know

what happens when you arrive late to church?

you get seated at the front.

the very front where you can see the freckles on the pastors cheeks.

that's how close we were.

the pastors message was about whether God really listens to our prayers.

does He really listen to our little voice, to our hearts begging for relief, for comfort

for miracles?

and it clicked for me today...

my God is a loving God.

He knew of me before i was even born.

He knows my needs (even the most selfish and the most self serving ones), my desires and

my faults. would he turn a blind eye and deaf ear to his beloved child?

would i do that to my own children? no, definitely not.

 i'd do my best to answer their needs so long as it is for their good.

yes, he most definitely listens.

"This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us--whatever we ask--we know that we have what we asked of him." 1 John 14-15

today, he gave our little family what He knew we all needed the most.

some down time with each other.

and even though war almost broke out over some star wars lego men

the incident was quickly forgiven and forgotten.

like i said, it was just perfect.

hope you had a wonderful weekend :)

my 2012 prayer list

oh, 2012 what will you bring?

2011 was a big year for me as far as trying new things (why, hello blog)

and I have to admit, 2011 was my year of prayer.

I have prayed more then ever before this year..

and you know what?

prayer works.

sometimes my prayers are answered pretty quickly..

and in some cases.. well, I'm still waiting to hear something back.

so now, I welcome 2012 with open arms

and with my little list of prayers for the year

(and I've already thought of a couple more as I sit here typing this post).

while I know it may sound a little corny,

I'm a list person and I like to mark things off my list.

so I'll be working really hard on my prayer list this year..

my hope is that this time next year,

I will look at back at this post and feel a sense of accomplishment.

did you make a list of goals/prayers or resolutions?

if so, I'd love to see them..

leave me your blog link in the comment section and I'll go check it out.

for now, my friends,

go forth and embrace 2012..

it's gonna be a fabulous year :)