Tuesday, March 12, 2013

a post in which i keep it very real.

so, as you can tell, i don't quite have this whole blogging and raising 4 kids thing down pat yet.

actually, i may be the worst ever at trying to do both but you know what? it is what it is and i'm ok with that right now  :)

in the last couple of months, since the birth of Camila, the Lord has really opened my eyes to many things that really needed to be worked on in my heart.

i've been tired,
and when you're all of the above you kind of start asking God
what it is He wants you to learn from the situation that you find yourself in. 

and then you have a 
come-to-jesus-moment when you realize that 
you just can't do this alone like you once thought you could.
you can't do it all. you can't keep it all together without help.

ha! the 'old' me would have laughed at that last sentence.
the 'old' me - who was afraid to ask for help {pride? fear?}
who thought she had it all under control and could juggle everything thrown at her.

well, friends, i have been humbled these last couple of months.
there have been times, during an a sleepless all nighter with the baby.. that i've been on my knees - mentally- asking Him for help that night. because i had felt as if i just couldn't get up. one. more.time. to tend to her.

please, God. please let me be patient with her. please, get me through this night
and show me how to calm her and provide her with some comfort. 
are you there, God? 
are you listening? please send help. 
i don't know what else to do.

and then the morning comes and with it comes his merciful answer.
a best friend stops by to hold the baby while i just sit there and zone out or get something done.
another best friend brings me fresh cut camelias from her blooming bush because she knows they make me happy.
friends who send me messages asking how i'm doing and if they could help with anything.
a sister who comes over after her 8 hour work day and brings dinner because she knows i haven't had a chance to make dinner.
another friend who goes to Walmart in search of a white noise machine because babies are suppose to love white noise.
friends who bring me meals every other day for 2 weeks. 
a husband who comes home, dragging his feet & tired eyes - after a 12 hour work shift- and volunteers {every morning} to take the older kids to school. {bless his heart - how i love him}
a mom who picks up my little one from preschool so that i don't have to.

 gestures that restore my confidence, that solidify my 
dependence on Him and that provide hope.
you've heard the saying "it takes a village to raise a child"?
well, my village is made up of strong, compassionate, helpful and loving women who love me and my family.

they are Gods answer to my desperate plea in the middle of the night.
just letting me know that He is there, He is listening and that He will always provide.
I just have to learn to ask.


friends, family and husband... may you know how important you are to me and  how
much i appreciate all that you do for me. you are all such a blessing to me! xoxo


Alicia said...

we need our peeps. asking for help is SO hard for me too. humbling ourselves might very well be what we have kids for...to learn just that. hang in there, mama. i know it's hard. i'm bracing myself as we speak...

Katie @ minivan diva said...

Keep asking for help, Mama! 3 is so hard so I can't even imagine 4! You are amazing. : )

christina said...

awwww I can feel all the love you were showered with!

and I am glad she is sleeping more for you friend! She will get there :)

you are one great mama :)

Emily said...

what a blessed circle you have surrounding you and your family, flor!!

that baby is simply breathtaking. i'd come hold her if i could ;)

Jen | Our Happy Family said...

gorgeous baby!! and what wonderful family & friends you have! what a blessing they could step up and help on an overwhelming day... I need that sometimes too and it's so hard to ask for help!

Amy Lynne said...

I am so glad you have had that kind of support! It is amazing how refreshing a little back-up can be! I hope you continue to find strength with the help of good friends and loving family!

Heather @ Finding Beauty in the Ordinary said...

flor, i love this post! camilla is SO beautiful!

you are so blessed, dear friend! i am so sad to say that i have had barely any help. it's been so tiring. it really stinks sometimes having both of our families out-of-town!

love ya girl and thank you for keeping it real!

Linda Z said...

Oh my goodness... she is absolutely adorable! I hope the nights are getting easier. Love that you have some sweet friends coming to your aid! May God continue to give you strength and help!