Thursday, December 1, 2011

my walk.. a declaration of sorts.

**I'm just going to post this before I lose my nerve**

I attend a wonderful bible study on Wednesday mornings here at a local church. 
My group is a mixture of older women as well as some younger ones...
women who know their bibles backwards and forwards and
others like myself who are learning how to study it in depth.



And as I was sitting there today listening to others speak I couldn't help feeling a little inadequate, lost..
and yes..disappointed in myself. 

God has always been a strong presence in my life. I've attended church off and on {mostly on}
since I was 16 years old and have read my bible a few times over.
I realize now, that while I have had Him in my life and believed in Him, I had not been growing in my walk with Him.
I suppose I never knew there was a difference between the two.

Until last year, when I discovered a bible study here in town.. and it rocked my world.
I attended a couple studies and it was then that a certain excitement filled my heart.
I could barely wait for the next week to come around so that I could attend the next class.
I was hungry to learn more.



That's when I knew. Things were not going to be the same from there on out. 
I began to re-evaluate everything in my life with new eyes and a new heart. 
I had to make some changes in my relationship with others
and shift some priorities around within our little house.

And I can tell you right now, for every sacrifice I have made God has blessed me ten times over.

So you see, my walk with Him has really just begun.
I made the decision to come to him with open hands
and an open heart and follow his guidance in all areas in my life.

And now, it seems as if I have my work cut out for me:
 Memory verses? I can't seem to memorize a single verse.
Quiet time? It's sporadic at best.
Witnessing to others? It's hard and I don't feel at all prepared,
but I will do it because it's what's in my heart.
Writing an honest post about my faith? It's intimidating to say the least  :)

I know all this will come with time but I feel as if I've wasted so much time already.
I have much too learn.
Which leads me to my next point.

For my bloggy friends that write about your faith and your love for the Lord:
know that you are like my own little bible study group.
I learn from you,
I feed off of you,
and I feel encouraged by you.
Your insight and words are a blessing to someone like me
who is at the beginning stages of their walk.

And so, my journey begins and guess what friends?
You're along for the ride.

And now I think it appropriate to end this little confession with
 this special verse
{which my sister magically remembered while I was on the phone with her today,
talking about what you've just read}

"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity,
but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline."
{2 Timothy 1:7}

Can I get an amen?
I love it.


Linking up with Casey at the Weigands

11 comments:

Sarah B. said...

Yes, AMEN! What a beautiful post!!! Thanks for being brave enough to write it ;)

Heather @ we.are.the.holdens said...

Love this Flor! So glad I get a front seat on your journey... so exciting. You are awesome:)

Kendra said...

Amen! Love that scripture. Thank you for sharing your faith!

Heather B {dreaming big} said...

Flor, thanks for sharing. I've had a similar experience with just kinda coasting in my faith until a joined a women's bible study. There's something about the accountability of having others to journey with that helps me be more consistent. Thanks so much for sharing.

the hollie rogue said...

so true for me as well. thanks for sharing your heart, friend

Rebecca @ heartland farmhouse said...

Amen!
just so you know i appreciate 'real' Christianity ~ genuine faith. it doesn't always have to convey an emotion or a warm fuzzy feeling. so, thank you for boldly, bravely being honest. i too have experienced an awaking this year & it came through this blog http://flowerpatchfarmgirl.blogspot.com/
which ultimately led me to blogging myself. that said, you never know who may be reading your blog. so, keep reading the good word & keep typing sweet friend.

xo

theolivetree said...

This is great! I love anything that hold me accountable! I used to read my bible everyday...no questions...with kids i have to make it a goal & priority :)

Jane said...

Amen! Love that verse; my Acts bible study was just focusing on Timothy last week:) The "blog-world" of believers is a big encouragement. Thanks for sharing your journey too.

Maria said...

Amen!

I just found your blog through a features of links and here I am :-)

Thank you for sharing.

Maria

Linda Z said...

Amen. I love that verse.

So awesome that you found a study and your faith is becoming even more alive. I love it when I'm in a study and I can't wait to meet Jesus. Thanks for sharing about your walk, it encourages me!

I used to teach Bible studies. Then Jesus greatly humbled me and I've gone through the greatest valley of my life in the past couple years. It's been hard to even have faith that He's there.

But last week He led me to an online study and for the first time in months, I can actually feel His presence. I feel like I am finally coming out of my dark time and it's such a huge blessing. :)

Laura said...

Love this! Thank you for sharing...I'm right there with you!