Friday, July 13, 2012

i'm calling 'worry' out.

i don't think i have a 'worrier' type of personality.  
i don't usually stress out about the 'what-if's' in life --
what if my husband got into a fender-bender on the way home from work? what if my kid falls off the swing?  what if someone tried to hijack my car in the middle of the day?
i know that most of everything is not in my control...i can't control what happens to my husband, to my kids
and i can't control what others are going to do.
because ultimately, God  is in control of it all and i'm totally comfortable with that.

{14 weeks - baby is size of a lemon.  pictures taken by my wonderful and talented brother in law who had no clue what i planned to do with a lemon. original idea here }

of course, that doesn't mean i don't prepare for these type of situations.. we have auto, life and medical insurance if something happens to one of us.. and i've taken self defense classes where i've picked up some tricks on how to defend myself in case of an attack.
i have seen what constant worry does to a person - and it's not pretty.

it robs a person of the type of joyful life God intends for us to have.

we have an amazing God who wants to relieve us of that burden.. a God whose shoulders are broad and strong and can handle it all for us. how many times are we told in scripture not to worry, not to be anxious, for He is there?

"6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 4:6-7

so, knowing all this, can somebody please tell me why i am a nervous mess with this pregnancy??

from the moment i found out i was pregnant i started to feel anxious and nervous.  i have ultrasounds with still shots of a beautiful little heartbeat.
and yet for some reason i continue to harbor feelings of anxiety and fear in my heart.
i can't explain it and there is no rhyme or reason to it. it's not like i haven't done this before..
believe me.. i've been on this carnival ride before {3 previous times} and have been blessed with peaceful pregnancies.

so what gives?

it's time for some self-reflection...
is it ok to worry?
does it mean my faith is not as strong as i thought it was?

"10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes." - Ephesians 6:10-11

i have found a chink in my armor and am working on repairing it - with prayer and with positive thoughts.
i will lean on Him and rest assured that His plans are bigger, better and so much grander than my own.

and let me tell you something.. just writing it out here.. for all to see.. brings me all kinds of comfort.
because when the fear is voiced out loud, it loses its power.

worry and anxiety - you joy-robbers - i denounce you.
begone from this heart of mine.
you are not wanted here.


Alicia said...

everyday it's a mind battle. when you feel those anxiety feelings coming on, switch on that scripture and denounce it again. :)

Katie @ minivan diva said...

I know a lot of moms who felt that way with their 3rd or 4th pregnancy. I think we have a culture that tells us that we cannot have too much of a good thing without something going wrong. But God is good and He blesses abundantly. Praying for you to have peace, my friend.

christina said...

praying for you friend! 2 timothy 1:7 may favorite go to scripture when the enemy tries to attack ;)

p.s. you look adorable~~!!!

Suzanne said...

Ephesians 3:16 ~ prayers to you, beautiful momma! Love the lemon pics, so cute!

Anonymous said...

I struggle with worry and what-if every. single. day. It is definitely my weak area. I am too afraid to even get pregnant again because I lack the courage to face the what-ifs. This is an area that I have some major growing to do... ultimately I realize that it is a lack of trust. It is an obvious indicator that I have difficulty trusting my Heavenly Father.... and why I really do not know. Tough stuff and a daily battle for me.... :(

Heather said...

I would just keep reading inspiring material. Immerse yourself in it and it should calm your fears in time. It always helps me when I feel like I'm losing a war with anxiety. Blessings to you and your baby.

Antoinette said...

I can totally relate to this post! I am 4 months pregnant with my first baby and lately I have been worrying about stuff like this all the time for some reason.
Sometimes I think we need to just stop and enjoy the present moment.
Logically thinking, how much are we really living our lives if our thoughts are focused on the past or future? The past has already happened and the future is uncertain. All we have is now. This concept is so incredibly powerful to me! We need let go and have faith in Gods journey for us.

p.s found your blog today and am your new follower!

http://www.Between the lines

Amy Lynne said...

Congratulations! I hope your worries find a new home! Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy!

Jelli said...

I've been seriously struggling with health worries lately and been considering blogging about it using the same verse you used here. Praying peace for both of us, and huge blessings in your upcoming weeks of pregnancy. Enjoy that little lemon-sized sweetie.

kuestermom said...

i know we don't know each other but i just wanted to offer some assurance for you because your post put me back to when i was pregnant with my fourth and for some reason i had crazy anxious thoughts. i am not sure why either? but one thing that i feel like it did was draw me closer to our God-the comforter of all anxiety, fear and stress. the interesting thing was that we had to get a couple more ultrasounds with the fourth because of some kidney issues-all is well now-but even through all of that i did have worry but i continually was forced to bring ALL my worries to His feet. looking back it was such a sweet special time that i feel so very grateful for. my precious daughter who was born a year ago in a way allowed me to learn and love my Father in a more deeper real way. i pray that this is what happens with you and your sweet fourth child-that each and every day you can bring all those worries to the One who understands and that you will know Him deeper. much love and blessings to you from one sister in Christ to another.

Heather said...

I totally understand! I've worried for the past 39 weeks. Praying that God removes this from us xoxo